How to make me? aiks..

How to make an Ivan

Ingredients: 3 parts intelligence 3 parts self-sufficiency 3 parts leadership

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Top it off with a sprinkle of lustfulness and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Here are some silly dirty jokes which i found..
(1) What did Newton's dick say to him after seeing a nude woman?
"Fuck you and your law of gravity, I'm going UP."

(2) A man bumps into a woman and says "So sorry ma'am. If your heart is as soft as your breasts, you will forgive me " The lady replies: "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, am in room 603"

(3) Policeman arrested a prostitute.
Prostitute: "I'm not selling sex!
Policeman: "Then what are you doing?"
Prostitute: "I'm selling condoms and offering free demo.

(4) Q : How do the Talibans seduce their women?
A : First they attack their twin towers, then they crash into their pentagon.

(5) Girls reaction to penis sizes:
9" - oh shit pain!
7" - oh yes, yum!
6" - oh perfect!
5" - mmm ok!
4" - push more
3" - is it in?
2" - idiot! Just use your tongue.

(6) Ever wondered why ABCDEF are used to define bra
sizes?
A - Airport (flat)
B - Barely there
C - Can do
D - Damn good
E - Enormous
F - Fake

(7) Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked 'why?'
He said: "my wife makes me pay $ 100/- for every Fuck!"
Friend said: "you're lucky, she charges others $ 250/-"

(8) Lady scolds her maid for inefficiency. Angry maid says, " at least I am better than you in bed."
Lady (amazed): "Did boss tell you this?"
Maid: "No, the driver did."

(9) What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
" After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."

(10) A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is 300% impotent.
The doc asks "how 300%?" She says: "you know about the 100%, and now he has broken his finger and burnt his tongue."

(11) Teacher: "why buffaloes get depressed after milking?"
Student: "Ma'am, if your boobs are rubbed for 2 hours & then you are left unfucked how would u feel?

(12) A female reporter was interviewing a farmer regarding mad cow disease.
Reporter: Sir, would you like to comment about the mad cow disease?
Farmer: Lady, do you know that bulls and cows only have sex once a year?
Reporter: Sir, I respect your comment but we are talking about mad cows disease.
Farmer: Lady, and do you know that we squeeze cow's breast six times a day.
Reporter: Sir, but what is it got to do with mad cows disease.
Farmer: If your boyfriend squeeze your breast six times a day, but only have SEX once in a year - WILL YOU BE MAD?